The trouble with a kitten is that…


I adopted a kitten this winter.  She was just a handful of trembling fuzz when I brought her home.  She perched on my shoulder on the drive home in my pick-up eventually working down my arm to the steering wheel where she promptly got tangled up and nearly turned us off the road.  Apparently they do make kitty car seats according to my search engine results- so I suppose I can’t make a bad joke about that…  So, I get her home and she was litter box trained (thank God!).  That would have been quite an experience seeing as I had never done it before.  I sat on the couch and poked at her like a monkey with a new toy; I hadn’t had a cat in years because I’m a “dog person” I tell myself.  Well I got bored with that and she got tired so she curled up on my chest and we both fell asleep. Awww!  Yes, I have been wrapped around her furry little paw ever since.

Well, here we are 4 months, 3 rolls of toilet paper, one glass carafe, and many magazine covers later.  She is definitely the woman of my house, she slaps me if I hit snooze more than twice, yells at me if I get noisy when a buddy stops by, and lets me know I didn’t put my stuff away by throwing it on the floor.  Matilda, I had aptly named her, has grown into quite a calico character, but then she realized she has claws.  Dang it.  Nothing is safe, curtains, couch, puppy, coats on the coat rack, or me!  So I’d had enough.  One morning, as I was sipping coffee from a coffee cup cup boldly stating a local church name, I lost my temper and let a nice juicy swear out in her direction.  I looked at the cup in my hand then considered what I had just said.  “I’m going to Hell!” I said out loud.   Strike 1.  Obviously that hadn’t worked and it turns out she is the only cat I know who would probably join me in the shower if I let her so she just sneered at the squirt bottle and squinted her eyes against the fury of the water stream.  Strike 2!

That, I said, was enough of that.  No more scratching allowed.  I furiously logged onto Ebay and bought a fancy emery scratching board.  I rubbed my hands together like an evil villain as I completed my purchase and anticipated it’s arrival.  The big day came and I hastily parked my pick-up and marched in the house like a man on a mission.  Hmm.  The fuzzy tailed thing with the bell goes in which hole?  Oh wait, it only cost $22.95 so it doesn’t really fit in any of them.  Why did I buy the cheap one?!  Don’t panic, she still likes it.  YES!  She is on the scratch board now, playing but this is how it works, right?  Oh no..  Now the fuzzy thing broke and its halfway across the kitchen with my cat right behind it completely ignoring the scratching apparatus.  This amazing thing had come with a little baggie of catnip as well, so with my beat up, callused hands I gently urged the bag open and it promptly exploded.  Matilda was in heaven!  I was on my hands and knees, dirty cowboy boots splayed out, desperately trying to sweep up the magic recipe to the emery boards success as my cat rolled and purred oblivious that she was thwarting my efforts.

About that time one of my good friends came to the door and looked down at my pathetic pose and the little pile of catnip at my fingertips.  “What are you doing?”  he sputtered at me.  Strike 3…  As I write this I look at that cat emery board sitting on the floor.  I hear the refillable pads are pretty cheap to get- except that mine is in like-new condition (except where my dog licked a hole in it, but that’s a whole other story..).  Oh, that reminds me, I need to give her her first shots- but before I do I had better trim her claws…


Back in the saddle!

1 Comment

Howdy everyone!  I have decided that I have time once again in my busy life to ease back into blogging.  I took the last 9 months or so and started my own business, and I tell you, that boss of mine is a real… Oh wait a minute!  But seriously, I have missed writing and seeing so many of my blogger friends continue on has been a constant reminder and motivation.  Now, as always, the views mentioned herein are my own humble opinions and you will probably see a few repeated topics that I hold near and dear, but mostly it boils down to one hard-working, straightforward, country gentleman’s point of view.  Please feel free to comment on any of the topics as your feedback is appreciated (and it helps fuel my next online tirade!).  Thanks for reading the Back 40!